Auto news on Youtube Apr 21 2018

♥ Like + Comment + 2 shares helps channel!

Oh

My yes the great vault of sulcus is the most secure depository in the Gallic city all

It's a stick-up

It's the vreedle brothers

Yeah, huh can't really chat gonna shoot y'all now steal the valuables make a clean getaway like that a

Sense of trustworthiness Boyd and probably your job Boyd

What we're supposed to be what you call persuading him to best if used by date

Private business, I don't want you thinking all my kids are ugly and stupid Mama's little angel

See he's beautiful now, give me the loot

What you too mother love for ma boys turn like mama's got a pick up a few sundries man

We're going to the soul system, but ma

Borden mine

Citing an incoming meteor heading straight for Earth at unbelievable speed scientists worry that the impact could cause major disruptions to climate

That time you got here Kevin scanner spotted a bogey we were on our way to intercept

It's all over the TV Gwen even the toon Channel. I was wondering how you heard about

You mean dangerous

Oh

Wait the other direction nobody messes with ma

Vreedle as in octagon and rhomboid vreedle mother yep

After were dead don't say I didn't lose place to nest do not trust her

how I wants just a little place to call home and

1.3. Billion cubic kilometers or 3/5 sailing I'm going to have to ask you to leave here we go I suppose

I could just go find somewhere else to nests

Sticks

Did would do you proud mom he did okay?

Pretty boy pretty boy good boy. Well, maybe it's passed down little islands

Yeah boy it could be

pretty boy mama beat that monkey until he's a bag of monkey juice she

I

Love this if a drop of seawater

They got on this planet, but it's worth it to me on me. How many brothers is we gonna get ma

These prefab cloning factories don't take but a speck of time to assemble that there's your best value

Which I want to keep working?

Learn the lesson

If you just follow the instructions they come out

beautiful

Beautiful, I'm gifted. Just like a couple billion is gonna free then sea water and DRAM. That's what you might. Call a bell curve

back to work

now masae water

They know the club

Mama just

Don't move a muscle not even a tweet dang. It board we aims to blast him I

Wake up on me on the mother

Iko lays my apron strike

Interfering with my healthy nesting instinct wait are you recording this?

What's that? What kind of mother doesn't want a video of her kids birth is that important?

You have to show them where they came from with a Buick you

Great family first they says

We're family to we're all plumbers

ain't that nice

Ain't it cuz are a bunch of pretty boys

I was trying for a non sequitur and wither

In mortal combat do what you're told a somewhat uncalled for

What are you gonna do about it? Yeah? What are you a manner of Riedl?

Wait I'm a mother too you are

Yes to see your kids succeed to go further and you do

No more playing on the sympathy

Put the baby down and kick it over to me

For another whole planet don't rightly reconcile with sand coat you're telling me that I can't kill six billion

Strangers to make 300 billion Braden's you're under arrest

My own sons turn on me

You're watching there you misbegotten

How could you turn on your own mother well Pao's

That's the last of them now, we'll see that they're brought up in the appropriate orphanage I

Didn't see anything me neither oh

We broke our OPA service to the plumbers and tried to help our mama commit genocide

I swear family stuff can get complicated. Oh yeah, no question

Let's go

Step right up and see the hideous creature from the deep come inside if you dare

Ticket, please

We stand here tonight as liberators, no you stand here trance passion

The knowledge bringer

This place really makes me feel like I'm making a difference you know making a difference is good

Excited to get me on board

My celebrity can help raise awareness of their organization your celebrity for being ranked

173 and women's tennis or does it ever occur to you that everything isn't always about you, not really no Ben Tennyson

What an honor it is to finally meet you and to have a celebrity of your stature visiting our meet the flame keepers circle, huh?

That's just a symbol of what flame represents knowledge

Keepers circle believe that thousands of years ago mankind was visited by benevolent aliens who gave us the beginnings of Technology

Benevolent I guess anything's the knowledge bringer

His name is Dagon

Dagon promised to return to Earth someday with the technology needed to save me he's like modernizing schools and medical facilities in underprivileged countries

It's a shame after all this time. He never managed to make it back. You don't suppose. He's you know?

for example

Now if you don't mind this way, please

That's conduits chamber. It's private

The new age of mankind is about to begin I'd love to bring me Ben Tennyson on board with our cause

Sometimes, I laugh inappropriately in awkward situations, you're a terrible boyfriend

I'm not talking to you

Well oh

Right because we've never seen aliens before

How many different aliens can you turn into now 50 Dave the world right?

I mean no that's not never mind. Let's just drop it

Julie I

look

Julie I let her cool down first

Give Julie some credit. She's not a dope

True, but that doesn't mean she can't get in over her head with a charity group

What's the problem her hearts in the right place doubt smells more like a?

Multi-level marketing skin getting your suckers to get more suckers charity for profit. Yeah

Cantus ship got jacked on a routine run of this quadrant. What do you say? We skip dessert and do a little follow-up?

You guys can handle it without me, right?

Another amazing night big changes are coming soon

I

Was wondering when you would find me I can see your tiny human brain

struggling to comprehend the impossible Vilgax conqueror of 10 world's living in a fish tank in the VIP, so did I

Rather than being destroyed I was lost to sea

And was sold to a traveling carnival

Despite indignity in my situation possessed with just happens to be some kind of space squid - a most fortuitous coincidence

Would you not agree?

So now you're a prophecy made to order. There's think I'll use it to fetch some glorious alien tech stashed on a nearby moon

Instead I will find siphon regain my lost powers

Then return home to move by and those who resist my rule will be washed away in the tide of battle

My Empire will rise again. Yeah about that

not gonna happen you cannot stop the followers of Dagon with doors I

Know this looks bad, but you've got to believe

If you're not playing by the rules that

I'm sorry Ben. I give up or I'll lose Julie in between dimensions I

Did what you wanted let her go

It's okay

He wasn't really going to hurt me you don't understand. You're the one missing it. We don't need to fight the stories were real

Digan is back. He's going to bring us a he sees a world where he's no longer special a

Healthy safe world where he is no longer needed

That is the real it's happened before

Why do you think the plumbers have those laws, but even that's not the point because that isn't Dagon his name is Vilgax

He's not a hero isn't going anywhere without its pulse core

How can this be we just tracked down the stolen plumber ship wouldn't been open to communications links you heard Dagon attack

Destroy the boy destroy Ben Tennyson

Saved a can save the knowledge bringer. I was wrong about Vilgax

But you're wrong about keeping alien technology out of the hands of the people could help

We could all argue about it some more over dinner and it

What if Tennyson is telling the truth about Dagon?

We are the flame keepers circle we do

You

For more infomation >> Ben 10 Best Cartoon For Kids Episode 34 - Morgan Gibbs - Duration: 17:52.

-------------------------------------------

Ben 10 Best Cartoon For Kids Episode 35 - Morgan Gibbs - Duration: 18:07.

♥ Like + Comment + 2 shares helps channel!

Hurry he's very ill

Of course bread to me, but master don't you remember we cannot bring the heart to you?

Escape we're on our way

This is the plumbers lay down your weapons, where'd they go hold your positions

Oh

Use your heads if he really is your almighty Dagon why does he need a truck to get around silence?

Getting a little frustrated

There climbing around on stairs and a parallel dimension sure

Oh

For sure

Maybe if some real competition showed up. I'm really just wondering what a forever Knight is doing hanging out with the flame keepers circle

How long have you been in esoterica pardon a follower of Dagon

The dragon you're daft, then what's would be out what we want him to do

Ever goes well

Take my word for it

Seems like your boy Winston hasn't been feeling himself lately. What did you do to him?

Look let's not go all medieval here Winston couldn't help it. What do you mean you remember that cave with the seal though?

Okay a lot

You mean Vilgax

And he's right if Vilgax gets his powers he'll be unstoppable

How can Vilgax steal his heart and how can Dagon even be alive without one? I don't understand should it long ago

Perhaps you've heard the story of Saint George and the dragon

Over the centuries many cultures have laid claim to this tale embellishing it with a hideous creature

a dragon

derived without warning from out of thin air

But he was too strong

And using the mighty sword as gone cut out the heart of the beast and

Still it would not die

Forever night cause the creature back into power

And we are safe you mean, we were safe we need to protect the heart from Vilgax that is easily said but

But I'll bet George knows where to find it. Why don't we ask him?

Been kind of hard to do a Q&A with a guy. Who's been dead since the Middle Ages?

I'm not in the mood to argue protocol Driscoll the first Knight has been missing for days

We know not where he's gone. Then we'd better find him. Don't you think?

Uh-huh, okay, you have been most useful

To glory

And forever there lies the shrine of the Dragon

You will need a weapon sire

You must break this see you tell me

Can't

Shuddering in silence you want to talk about it. I feel sick. Well the way Kevin flies

Can you please be serious for once? I'm sorry besides

If anybody is to blame for all of this

It's me the Knights Vilgax the esoterica now the Dagon I should have put it

Quinn what's happening? I?

See the seal and bill gaps. He's heading for it

Atmosphere and come back down. We're over an hour away. That's no good

When I need you to teleport us to the seal

Have a choice

What do you mean?

We you're the one who was so busy playing hero that he missed the big picture and you are not gonna risk her life now

The

Whole universe your powers will be

And now he's taking his heart back to his dimension Dagon has all of his power again. It's far from hopeless

No now you will see what the dragon saw

Stop him

Then nice maybe not look at his eyes the red

So normally his eyes are green Oh

What I'm taking back what you stole you can't hit me with my own fist

Enjoyed that maybe a little now what now ice

Nice

Okay, not funny anymore maybe a

Doctor bore heyse my aunt Sandra said you the best psychiatrist in town and

She would know

Look doc. Can you help him or not?

It's always good to begin at the psychological roots. Tell me something about your relationship with your mother

Never tried to clown at the circus scared me

not really what we're looking for been any unusual dreams lately I

dream of freedom from Ben Tennyson

Who's calling who disgusting you ever get a whiff of your own breath?

Only complicates matters

Are you saying that he's stuck that way?

Perhaps if I try to hypnotic trends as a way to get the two warring sides of his son back

rocked by the gentle waters

Not a dream

Gwen Kevin anybody

Think he's dead don't say that I'd know if he was how I just would then where is he?

I'm too young to die and too famous

Not to mention handsome and smart and talented, and I'm in an earthquake

Quick watch thingy. We don't even understand. Yeah, no

But Ben's in there even if he is it's busted we go in there we Ben needs us now

How's this you try your way? I'll try it mine

But you'd be careful in there, okay

You're not real you're just parts of me

Wait wait this is the ultimate rule

Pigs on bed, but me

That's the way it works in families right

Back immediately or automatic security systems will destroy your vessel

Asmath it's me Kevin. You are encroaching Galvan planetary

territory

I'm so good. I impressed my son wonder. If there's bus service back to earth Opie's home

Kind of liberal with the transformations

Trying to run down the battery I figured if I timed out it would send me back to the real world

Of course it is

Transformations are just blank slates for your mind. She would have it. They don't act like blank slates

Even if it is true you didn't know what was happening

When spiderweb people

Now Tennyson you burn

Tennyson what that's why I'm not wasting any more time, I'm destroying these transformation Finn

No Quinn stand down I have to die

May have messed up the Ultimatrix, but he's put himself on the line again in it and more important

He's my best friend as the tiniest speck of hope for this universe after all

Let him say his goodbyes he deserves that much at least

You probably won't believe this

Actualized Ultimates has been corrected

Any Ultimates generated from this moment forth will simply be reflections of you as was always intended

but I D

genuine

self-sacrifice more rare than astatine or francium

That's twice today. I have found a small measure of hope

Somewhere out there is a planet where you can be free and I can take you there

You

For more infomation >> Ben 10 Best Cartoon For Kids Episode 35 - Morgan Gibbs - Duration: 18:07.

-------------------------------------------

Ben 10 Best Cartoon For Kids Episode 33 - Morgan Gibbs - Duration: 17:56.

♥ Like + Comment + 2 shares helps channel!

Then nice maybe not look at his eyes the rent

So normally his eyes are green oh

I'm taking back what you stole you can't hit me with my own fists

Enjoyed that maybe a little now what?

Nice

Okay

Dr.. Bohr hey my aunt Sandra said you the best psychiatrist in town and

She would know look doc. Can you help him or not?

It's always good to begin at the psychological roots tell me something about your relationship with your mother

Another tried to eat clown at the circus scared me

not really what we're looking for been any unusual dreams lately I

dream of freedom from Ben Tennyson

Who's calling who disgusting you ever get a whiff of your own breath?

Only

complicates matters

Are you saying that he's stuck that way?

Perhaps if I try to hypnotic trends as a way to get the two warring sides of his son back

rocked by the gentle waters

Not a dream

Gwen Kevin anybody

Think he's dead don't say that I'd know if he was how I just would then where is he?

I'm too young to die and too famous

Not to mention handsome and smart and talented, and I'm in an earthquake

Like watch thingy, we don't even understand. Yeah, no

But Ben's in there even if he is it's busted we go in there. We met Ben needs us now

How's this you try your way? I'll try it mine

But you'd be careful in there, okay

You're not real you're just parts of me liar

Our old hearts and minds will

and receipt of being trapped here in the

Ultimatrix

Wait wait, this is the ultimate

Pigs on bed, but me

That's the way it works in families right

Back immediately or automatic security systems will destroy your vessel

Asmath it's me Kevin. You are encroaching Galvan planetary

territory

I'm so good. I impressed my son wonder. If there's bus service back to earth Opie's home

Kind of liberal with the transformations

Trying to run down the battery I figured if I timed out it would send me back to the real world

Of course it is

Transformations are just blank slates for your mind. She would have it. They don't act like blank slates

Even if it is true you didn't know what was happening

Now Tennyson you burn

It's over Tennyson

What that's why? I'm not wasting any more time

I'm destroying these transformations then

No Gwen stand down I have to die

May have messed up the Ultimatrix, but he's put himself on the line again at it and more important

He's my best friend of the tiniest speck of hope for this universe after all

We'll him say his goodbyes he deserves that much at least

You probably won't believe this

Actual eyes Ultimates has been corrected any Ultimates generated from this moment forth

Will simply be reflections of you as was always intended, but I do

genuine

self-sacrifice more rare than astatine or francium

That's twice today. I have found a small measure of hope

Somewhere out there is a planet where you can be free

And I can take you there

You're having fun no fun was the 14th hole remember that miracle shot I made off Abraham Lincoln's face

through Lincoln's face

Em if it wouldn't be too much trouble huh no trouble at all

Let's get this over with

It's what I do know that's two out of three right now

I'm reading the course

If memory serves our previous record on had a weakness a weakness for

Warmachine you don't want to do that fine, but I still want my rematch later

Maybe there's a record of who programmed it to come after me. I'll get what data

I can and safely dispose of it. Why do you say safely dispose when we all know you've already lined up a buyer

We'll take Julie home meet up with you later

- easily for you you always win, that's not true, okay?

I guess it is kind of true

That summer ran around together with Grandpa and the rest bowed out the deep down you do care you do take things seriously

And you work hard at what you do swish

You just always make everything look easy

Back when we were kids every day take my date to the prom innit. I was totally convinced I know

Pranking it was my idea it was

Huh you really want a car. I've got an idea

Not the rust bucket, then I got nothing

You could drive mine sometimes if you want

Busters of tech Adan it must have cost a fortune

Somebody's put a hit on you. I'm not worried. You should be the techadons will keep coming

Let me tell you something custom a techadon robot

Designed specifically to destroy me your baby bag, but rath several other estimate goes

The bigger they are the harder they fall, that's what Rath was gonna say by that logic better than rap

You couldn't find out who's sending them it wasn't in the techadons memory

custom jobs remember

done

So we find the fabricator

The control console might be broadcasting back to it you two get on it before another one shows up. Where are you going?

Picking up tech Adhan energy signature somewhere in a three mile radius here

Jules and I can't absorb it

Come on if there's one thing you're good at its breaking stuff, but ask dad for a car maybe for graduation

If you lose it little Gwen Tennyson what brings you out to these parts

I think you did volcanus. Did you hear that someone put a hit out on Ben just don't take it on fabricators a lot shorter

Yeah, I am stinking raised a nice

Call it off

As for me, I'm gonna stay here and celebrate

Couldn't help overhearing your situation then when Ben bites the big one if he bites it

What do you mean if

Let's face it tubby Benton. You're right. I need to see it right make sure yeah make sure

I'll do better than that

God this one nope am I forgetting anything probably probably something bad for us

Need to cool things so many bystanders around here

Come on you watch me

Looking for

Well dessert

While your still still alive so far how about you figure out who ordered the techadons?

I'm sure

They're gonna keep coming and coming if it makes you feel any better after it finishes you off

I'm gonna pound fall Candace like nobody's business

That does not make me feel any better

Got it. I can't beat it, so I'm not going to troll I

Know Ultimatrix no target cool. Hey Kevin you still got your old ID mask

Do that what did you do?

Techadons our killers, but they're not exactly known for their smarts. What did you expect I?

Spent enough money on that thing to buy us you know where to find me. I'll be waiting

No hard feelings right volcanus get your hands off

You

You

For more infomation >> Ben 10 Best Cartoon For Kids Episode 33 - Morgan Gibbs - Duration: 17:56.

-------------------------------------------

Thursday, April 19, 2018 with Tracy Morgan (Full Episode) - Duration: 23:46.

[ Rhythmic clapping ]

Holla, Burnside Ave...

-Boogie oogie. Holla. -He loves toes.

[ Laughter ]

Not if your shit is decrepit.

Yeah. Like, clean toes.

-I like pretty toes. -Pretty toes.

That shit got to look like Skittles or something.

Yeah.

I don't got a problem licking your toes,

but if your shit look like...

-nah, I can't...with you. -The crawfish joints.

Now, I love me some --

What I love is some welfare pussy.

I love the... just a little bit.

They get extra wet on the 1st and the 15th.

♪♪

A substitute math teacher in Montville, Connecticut,

was arrested last week for encouraging

certain extracurricular activities.

We go to WFSB for the full report.

Shout-out to WFSB. They always got the hard-hitting news.

-Have we used them before? -No. [ Laughs ]

Also tonight, we're getting an inside look at what police

are calling a fight club here at Montville High School.

-Whoo! Damn. -Oh. He's going in.

Yes, here's a look at video we received

from inside a classroom. Hard to watch there.

Was that a playpen in there?!

...faces of these two students to protect their identities.

Police say the victims are between 14...

Yo, your man got the trash can out the way!

What kind of -- He was like, "Nah, nah, nah."

"No weapons. No weapons. No weapons. No weapons."

"My four count. Just come out clean."

[ As Mills Lane ] Let's get it on!

He had a weigh-in in fourth period.

[ Laughter ]

23-year-old substitute teacher Ryan Fish

is accused of running this fight club.

You know he definitely was like, "Yeah, my name's Mr. Fish, but call me Ryan.

I'm the cool substitute.

Y'all want to beat each other up?"

"Yo...it. ...social studies, bro.

Let's just... each other up."

Then Connecticut's trusty news source FOX 61

tracked down teacher Ryan Fish to get to the bottom of this.

Yeah. In a new segment we call "Fish Facts."

Yeah. They're fishin' for the truth.

He's like, "Listen, man. I was...stoned.

They wanted to fight. I was like, '...it.'"

I didn't realize what was happening at the time.

I didn't know -- I didn't have the...

-Pfff! [ Laughs ] -Look at him.

He's looking directly at the camera like, "Y'all buying this?"

Woman: ...accused 23-year-old Ryan Fish

of supervising so-called fight clubs

between students at Montville High School.

I mean, he's 23, dawg. Like, what the...?

What were you doing at 23?

You know what? 'Cause when you're young, you think teachers are like 40, 50, 80.

No, bro. They're 22, bro.

And they're playing mad rounds of beer pong

before...fifth period.

Fish turned himself in

before he was arraigned in Norwich Superior...

Ah, he wore the good, sensible "I'm a teacher" sweater.

-I see you, man. -I see you. I see you.

Ryan oversaw at least three

scheduled fights last October involving...

Scheduled fights? What is he, a prom--

He's a promoter now. He's not a sub teacher.

...involving five male students ages 14 to 16.

Ah, that's old enough to fight. I thought they was like 8 years old.

Yeah. That's actually a good fight. Yeah.

Police say cellphone video shows Fish encouraging

the student victims to fight as other students looked on.

Fish denies it.

Did you ever facilitate any of the fights?

-No. -"No. No way.

That video of me saying '...him up,' that's not me."

Did you ever know they were going to happen before they started?

No!

[ Laughs ] "No!

That's a very guilty "no." It was very high-pitched.

"No! No! No. I don't know anything about cocaine!"

Woman: Police report tells a different story.

Wow. This police document has a lot of words, Mr. Fish.

-Yeah. -Not looking good for you.

Not looking good for you, Fishy.

After being confronted about it on October 10th of 2017,

police say Fish told the principal,

"Boys will be boys."

[ Laughter ]

"And I got $20 on Jerome, so...

"What's up? What's up? Knuckle up.

-Don't ass-bet, either." -You gonna match or what?"

Wait. Take it back to that police document.

"Mr. Fish..." Dah-dah.

"Mr. Fish started the fight by saying, 'One, two, three.'"

God damn!

[ Laughter ]

You guilty as shit, Mr. Fish!

-Yo. -Damn.

Victim 3 was done throwing up...

"Mr. Fish tried to start the fight again

by saying, 'Round two!'"

[ Bell dings ]

Your man turned into the "Street Fighter II" announcer?

He had the kids outside beating up cars in the parking lot

for the bonus round.

"Perfect." Nigga got a pile bricks and shit.

"Shoryuken!"

Fish was fired by superintendent Brian Levesque

later that day.

Looking back, Fish admits he was wrong.

I am so sorry.

[ Laughter ]

All his people on Facebook is like, "[Chuckles] Fish.

"Fish! Fish gawd. Yeah, kid.

-Keep swimmin', bro." -Free Fish."

Yeah, keep swimming. "Just keep swimming, bro."

Oh, my God.

Because I'll be totally honest.

I was just trying to reach the kids.

-[ Laughs ] -Wow!

You was trying to help the kids with their reach.

You was trying to see who had the longest reach...

"Tyrone, keep it tight. Guard your grille. Guard your grille."

"Guard the body. You gotta guard the body!"

He got mad petroleum on their face, cutting their eye.

[ Laughs ]

You know who would be a perfect person to play Ryan Fish

in the TV movie that needs to be made about this?

Mnh-mnh-mnh. This is basically what he did in the Bronx anyway.

That's true. I wasn't gonna say --

What's the statute of limitations, bro?

'Cause they got videos for days, B.

...almost kicked my ass out of there,

'cause they were like, "Yo, you're beating up a kid."

It looked mad-funny. It looked like this.

It looked like I was doing this. But I was not.

And I was cleared of all charges.

I remember that was one of the first things --

When I met him, that was one of the first stories I heard.

And I was like, "I'm staying away from this nigga."

[ Laughs ] Bro.

My UFT rep had to be mob-affiliated, bro, 'cause he walked in --

He was like...

[ Jersey accent ] "How ya doin'?

We're gonna take care of this real quick.

Just have a seat. You'll be all right.

Don't worry about nothing. Don't say nothing, all right?"

Now students also tell police Fish allowed them to draw

images on the board in class of him engaged in sex acts

and also admitted to doing drugs.

Hold up. The teacher said this?

No. The teacher said... that he was letting the kids

draw pictures of him getting toppy on the board.

Wow!

And he admitted to doing drugs.

But, if you remember, who was the coolest tea--

The teachers that was like, "Yo, I just kind of... with this teacher shit."

You had the teachers that you thought lived in the schools,

and when you saw them on the weekend, you were like,

"What are you doing in Target? They let you out?"

"Yo, I knew you smoked weed, 'cause you got a ponytail!"

Then you had the other teachers that was like,

I'm not even teaching today. Here. I'm-a bring in this big-ass TV.

You gonna watch 'Gremlins.' "Go ahead...that.

We're watching 'Big Momma's House 2' again.

-Martin Lawrence is a thespian." -That's right."

[ Laughter ]

[ Rhythmic clapping ]

Dollar-van drivers, the real hood heroes!

"Driver, driver, driver! One stop, one stop, one stop!"

"Yo, yo, yo, yo! Getting off at Franny Lew."

If y'all don't know what that means,

that's because you gentrified your neighborhood.

Man #1: Yo! Stop the...car, bro!

Man #2: You're gonna make it worse.

Woman: Driver!

-"Driver!" -"Driver!

Don't stop at all!"

[ Laughs ] Yo!

Yo!

Nigga, let me out. Let me out. Let me out.

Let me out. Let me out, man.

Man: #3 ...really following us.

This nigga's a bozo.

-He gonna...this shit. -Driver!

We about to die, fam.

He said, "We about to die, fam."

Your man is gunning that... dollar van, also.

Yo. Fam. There's like 20...

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Woman #2: Oh, my God! Have mercy!

You hear what shorty said? "Lord have mercy!"

I didn't know my aunt was there.

Like, unh! Come on. Let her off, man.

She's just trying to go to her nursing job.

Man #2: Leave the car and run! Leave the car and run!

Yeah! Yo, B.

Woman: Stop and run! Stop and run!

Fam, yo, yo. How about every New York stereotype

is in this dollar van at the same time?

It's, like, the Jamaican nurse, the dude in the back. "Yo, B!"

Just stop the car and dip, my nigga.

Man #4: Stop your bumbaclot...

Nigga said, "Stop your bumbaclot van!"

[ Laughs ] Yo! Yo! Fam! Fam!

Stop your bumbaclot...

Yo, stop the car and dip, my nigga.

Woman: Stop the fucking van and run!

Leave the car and run!

Hey, yo, real shit, my nigga...

[ Laughter ]

Like, "Yep. Real shit, my nigga."

"Yo, real shit, my nigga."

Yo, when that proceeds a sentence, yo, watch the...out.

Hey, yo, real shit, my nigga,

we get in an accident, B, you better hope you go to jail,

my nigga, 'cause I'm-a...you up.

[ Laughter ]

"You'll go to jail 'cause I'm-a...you up."

Ohh. MTA rules still apply.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.

He stopped? He finally stopped?

"Let me out. Let me out."

Was he running from the cops?

This nigga ran out the car!

"Go on. Go on. Go on. Go."

Hey, I'm getting the...out.

This nigga literally just got out the car and...ran, B.

-Ohh! Listen. Listen. -Yo! Yo!

It ain't safe on the block, not even for the cops.

I mean. Yo, sometimes you got --

I mean, now, you know, like,

sometimes your immigration status

might be a little iffy,

you know, like, you might have a warrant.

Might gotta boogie before I.C.E. freeze you.

Listen. People who drive dollar vans don't always be on the up-and-up.

...ran, B.

-Who is he? -I don't know.

The nigga went some...where.

Oh, shit. They came through the burner?

-Yo! -Shit.

He could have got that whole car shot up.

Yo, Yasenia in there with scrubs like, "Papi, no! I wasn't driving!

I need to hang blood!"

Man #1: Yo, it's not him! It's not him!

-It's not him. -All right. Calm down.

Damn. It's so serious, he got to help the cops.

"Chill. Don't shoot that nigga. Don't shoot that nigga.

He's like, "Yo, I'm not snitching.

I don't want to see no one shot. Listen."

Don't shoot him. He's the wrong guy."

It's not him, B.

They're like, "Nah. Someone black's getting arrested...that.

"You wanna go to jail...?"

You wanna go to jail, or her?"

He's like, "Okay. Okay, pal.

So you're telling me this dollar van just appeared out of nowhere?

Spread your cheeks. You got anything sharp?

"Come on. Get outta here."

Y'all shouldn't even have to search homey like that.

Come on, B.

[ Indistinct shouting ] How do I know it's not you?

There's 20 people telling you it's not me!

The cop was like, "How do I know it's not you?

I mean, other than these moolies behind me saying it's not you."

Look at the guy. He's like, "This some bullshit."

...even look like he was driving?

-He got, like, headphones in. -Look.

That's a walking-ass nigga if I ever seen one.

...look dusty as shit.

We was about to die just now!

And y'all letting the dude run away?

Where'd he go?

-He ran that way! -He ran that way!

[ Laughter ]

♪ Which way did he go? Which way did he go? ♪

Cops was like, "Whoa. I don't know what you guys are saying.

Which way? Whoa. Slow down. Speak English.

-Whoa. What is that? -Speak English."

Whoa, whoa. This is not Passa Passa."

And everyone in there is tight like,

"Yo, so, I don't get my money back or...?"

♪♪

Yo, number-one show in late night.

-Nothing but illustrious guests. -That's right.

We got a number-one comedian.

-We got the legend. -You know what I'm sayin'?

From the BX. You know who it is.

You know him. Tracy Morgan.

He got the new series, "The Last O.G.,"

Tuesday nights on TBS.

But you know him from every other show.

You know him from "Uptown Comedy Club."

Come on! Tracy Morgan, get up here. Let's go.

♪♪

Oh, my God.

-I'm coming through. -Coming through.

Coming through. You know me. I'm coming through.

-Legendary. My guy. -No doubt.

Came with the heavy chain.

Remember the lunch-room table?

You gotta let it bang on the table.

No. No. There's too many diamonds. I'm-a lose diamonds.

Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

...the chain. I don't want to lose diamonds.

There you go. Ohh.

But first we gotta talk about you did good things in Brooklyn,

the park rededication, did the block party.

That meant the world to me.

-What's it like going back? -Well, I never left.

But going back and like...

-But I never left. I never left. -You never left?

I never left, man.

Anybody can tell you Trace still go through his hood, man.

I don't even call it the hood. I call it the neighborhood.

'Cause we gotta start a trend.

Yesterday, we laid down a renovated playground

for the kids -- basketball courts.

You don't know what that meant to me.

'Cause I played ball on that court.

I cut my thumb on that court.

So now I give a chance for the next generation

not to cut their thumb.

And it's a safe place. It's a safe place.

It's a place where kids can go

and get away from all this stuff just to go play.

-Yeah. -Just to go play.

So that meant everything to me, to be a part of that with TBS.

I just want to be a part -- I know my purpose back --

Listen. I wasn't supposed to walk away from that accident.

-Yeah. -I'm here for a reason.

-That was crazy. Yeah, man. -I'm here for a reason.

So, my last O.G. was Jimmy Mack.

He died in the accident with me.

He was a 62-year-old man. He was an O.G.

He would call me on the phone when I was being a knucklehead.

"Nah, that's not how you carry it."

So, that's what an O.G. is.

The greatest O.G. was Ben Kenobi.

He took care of Luke.

-Yeah. -That's what an O.G. do.

"The Force is with you."

So, putting down -- giving out turkeys

and helping the needy and all of that, that's O.G. move.

When you said Ben Kenobi, I was like...

Ben Kenobi. He told him to go to the Dagobah system.

Ain't nobody else told him to go to the Dagobah system!

The O.G. did that! He said, "Luke..."

We need more O.G.'s in life and space.

-That's right! O.G. style. -You know what I'm sayin'?

I just got my star put down on the Walk of Hollywood.

That's my legacy as far as my career,

but my kids are my legacy of my life.

That's something for them to walk up long after I'm gone --

My great-great-great- grandkids.

-"That's my grandpops." -"Yo. That's my grandpops, yo."

You build on that.

I needed my father.

He's the only one that could show me how to be a man.

I swam around in his nuts.

[ Laughter ]

Not nobody else's.

It's important for dads to be there.

My daughter is 4 years old.

It's important for me to be there for her.

'Cause you know what Daddy is to a little girl?

He is the first loving, meaningful relationship

she ever gonna have with a male outside of sex.

Look at these pretty-ass women right here.

Every man that's ever looked at them wanted something.

Looked at them with lustful eyes.

We got to start looking at them with loving eyes.

That's the difference.

You ain't never had an interview like this on this show.

[ Laughs ] Nah.

We had one close, but this is --

Fix it. You and your man going through something? Fix it!

'Cause them kids need both of y'all.

Fix it!

Tell your family to mind their business.

You tell yours to mind their business.

Y'all, put them kids over in their room.

...Go fix it. Go fix it.

And don't leave the room until it's fixed!

That's why arguments over meatloaf turn into divorce,

'cause there's unresolved issues in the relationship.

You know what I'm sayin'? Men are different than women.

We'll do anything to stop the argument.

But y'all -- It ain't over.

Y'all just took it and put it on the back burner.

He said one thing to you,

and it triggered, and that when -- whoo!

Now you're arguing with him over something he did 10 years ago.

'Cause it wasn't resolved.

Out of 168 hours of the week,

both of y'all take one hour, one sacred hour,

and go in a room, in one sacred room, and resolve it.

Then you ask her. You got to be honest.

"Is it resolvable? Baby, is it resolved?

Be honest with me. "No."

"Then we're not leaving. Let's resolve it. I'll listen."

Or you might just want to go in the room and hold hands.

You sit right next to her. Don't say nothing.

Just sit there for an hour. Hold hands.

It's about the connection.

You know what's blowing my mind?

Everything you say is extra deep 'cause you have a do-rag on.

[ Laughter ]

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Nah. You talking O.G. knowledge now.

But that's what I'm giving to young people.

Do the right thing, man. Do the right thing.

I'm sayin' it with a do-rag on. I can get away with it.

-I can pull it off. -Only you could come --

Anyone else came here

with a do-rag and the... gold chain gets clowned.

I know your look. I see your look.

You see through people.

-Who? Me? -Yeah.

You see through the smoke and the mirrors.

I'm 49 years. I'm from Brooklyn. I'm O.G.

You know who I had dinner with last night? Two hours.

Morgan Freeman. Me and Morgan Freeman.

What do you and Morgan Freeman talk about?

-Just -- I was listening. -What did he eat?

Him and his man -- It's like those uncles.

You just -- Yeah.

Ah. Look at Morgan right there. Okay.

-Yeah. Look. -What'd he order?

I had ravioli. He had some type of fish.

Yeah, I can see Morgan ordering fish.

Yo, you got -- How many kids you got?

-On the books or off? -Both.

[ Laughter ]

'Cause I'm trying to break Bob Marley's record.

Yeah. I don't pull out. I don't pull out.

Listen. You two --

Gang shit. Gang shit. You already shknow.

You already shknow. You already shknow.

I never seen John Holmes pull out. You know what I mean?

I love my wife, man. I love my wife, man.

It's just too exhausting having an affair now.

There's a lot of paperwork. A lot of paperwork involved.

Yeah. Wait. So, how many cars do you have?

Officially? Or with my wife?

With the wife. Let's flex it out.

Maybe 10.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

What's the everyday joint?

The Rolls. The Rolls-Royce. I don't know.

'Cause we once seen you whipping up in a --

My nigga, I seen you on Seventh Ave

with the doors up on the Lambo!

You almost caused a riot on Seventh Ave...

But that's my life.

My hardest decision, Mark, is which car to drive.

Honestly. That's my hardest decision.

I look at my...like,

"Yeah, he just raised the bar right here."

Take us back to the high-school days, man.

-I was bad. -I read your book.

I was bad. I would have had both of y'all.

I was funny like that.

Look at that smile. Ha ha!

Football star, track star. Plus I was funny.

You would have never ate school lunch.

I would have sent you up to that McDonald's.

-Wow! That's the flex, too. -I got the Big Mac coupons.

-"Here." -"Go ahead. Eat, ma."

"Come here. You hungry? You and your friends ate?

Here. Go up to the Ave."

[ Laughter ]

Yeah, yeah. There you go.

Yo, she would have been it with her girlfriends.

"He just gave me some..."

"This all? This all? Just 100?"

"Here, man. Here!"

Then I'd have been like this, "Yo, your moms home?"

That was my favorite thing. "Yo, your moms home?"

I got to do a tour in the mother's bed...

I loved doing it in her parents' bed.

"My mom's gonna be home at 5:00."

You be there 4:45. Her mom come home at 5:00.

You're like, "I'll still make it happen."

Yep. Yep. Yeah. You knew that.

I'm going to the basketball court first.

Coming through sweaty.

Yeah, I'm coming through sweaty down there, man.

-A little salty nuts. -Yeah. Salty nuts.

What's the wildest party you've taken your shirt off at?

-The China Club. -Ooh.

Yeah. The "Post" caught me kissing some trick feet.

-[ Laughs ] -I'm a toe guy.

I'm a freak. I told you, I'm a freak, man.

I'm a witty-bitty, bing-bong freak.

I'm over here. I'm over here pro-eating ass.

-Are you pro-eating ass? -Yeah. So?

Are you crazy? Yes.

If you eat pussy, you eat ass. It ain't but that far apart.

-You know what I'm sayin'? -They're adjacent.

That's a bridge over troubled water, man.

Everybody knows I... with the brown eye.

That's how a female butthole look, like a brown eye.

-Just winking at you. -Has the creases on it.

Oh, my God.

-Nasty. -I'm a freak.

One time, for my ex-wife, I bought a glass table

and made her get on top of the table.

And I was under the table ready to beat off.

I said, "Shit on the table."

[ Laughter ]

And you see her butthole muscles started moving.

I was like, "Oh, yeah. Oh, here it comes."

[ Laughter ] Yo!

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Tracy Morgan, what would you like your --

I'm nasty.

What would you like your rainbow to say?

-I'm nasty. -Is that it?

-Word. Smell. -He's nasty.

-Ha! -Oh, wow.

[ Laughter ]

I keep some butthole on my...

-Yo. He's nasty. -Some cootie cat on the...

Yo, give it up for Tracy Morgan.

You know what I'm sayin'? [ Laughs ]

Nasty...

♪♪

-Shout-outs! -Shout-outs!

-Yeah. You dirtbags. -Yeah. You piece of trash.

Yo, shout-out to making your own justice.

'Cause the sweetest justice is artisanal.

Uh-huh.

We about to go inside and get my free coffee.

Y'all ready?

-How you doing? -Good. How are you?

All right. I heard y'all was racist, so I came to get my own...

Yeah. Yeah. It's reparations day!

[ Laughs ]

I saw that.

Yeah. I heard you guys don't like black people.

So I wanted to get my Starbucks reparations.

-Not our store. -What's that?

-Is that a real thing? -It's a real thing.

I mean, I'll give it to you. Yeah, I saw that on my Twitter last night.

Talk to him, Chelsea.

She was like, "I saw that. It wasn't fair.

What would you like? A latte? A latte? And free Meek."

"Yeah. That's right."

-I need a free coffee. -I'll give you a free coffee.

You see how fast that girl got over there?!

-She's like, "Yo!" -Wow!

Shorty came over with the blender real swift.

Look at this. Look at the flash in the back.

Yeah. I need a free coffee.

That's what I'm talking about. This is justice.

Got to get my reparations for being black in America.

Black Lives Matter.

They certainly do.

She's like, "That's absolutely right, Terrell!

I agree 1,000%!"

Do you want any flavors in it? We got caramel, hazelnut...

-I'll take caramel. -Caramel? Sure.

For the struggle.

-I wish you the best. -Thank you.

-Here. -[ Gasps ]

-Have a good night. -You too.

He's like, "Oh, my God! A macchiato!

I don't even know what this is!"

He was like, "Racial justice before my own eyes. Wow."

That's the eyes of a hopeful young black man.

It's like he's watching Obama be inaugurated for the third time.

He's like, "Whoa! Whoa!"

You freeze-frame it here, and if R. Kelly

wasn't problematic, you could put "I Believe I Can Fly,"

but he's canceled, so you gotta get Common to do like a spoken word.

"...black brother's holding a macchiato."

Damn, bro. What if he --

I hope he doesn't try to do that shit somewhere else.

No, you can do that this weekend.

It was on the Starbucks website.

-Okay. -It says black people --

If you go into Starbucks this weekend and you're black,

you get a free macchiato.

[ Clicks tongue ]

[ Laughter ]

Just ask for it.

You just got like 20 niggas arrested over the weekend and shit.

-[ Laughs ] -Be like, "Desus told me."

♪♪

-BX all day. -Who?

-East Tremont. Holla. -Both of us.

Both of y'all from -- I'm from the X, nigga.

I went to DeWitt Clinton.

DeWitt Clinton High School...

-You went to DeWitt Clinton? -Yes, sir!

-You're a Governor? -Yes, sir.

-I'm a Governor, too. -We out here.

I dropped out in '87. Started '83, when girls came in.

I almost dropped out. My pops had to fly from D.R.

and be like, "Papi, you have to pass the classes."

I wish I could go back and drop out again! Love that shit, man.

♪♪

For more infomation >> Thursday, April 19, 2018 with Tracy Morgan (Full Episode) - Duration: 23:46.

-------------------------------------------

GLOWY SUMMER MAKEUP TUTORIAL! - Duration: 15:14.

(music)