Now that you've reviewed all the sections of the module and the mini essay prompt
You're prepared for a detailed review of this model mini essay
Before jumping into the meat of the paragraph take a look at this paper, and how it was formatted using MLA style.
observe the elements of the header placed to the left of the page
Notice it goes from student name to the instructors name
To the English course number and then you include the date
There's also a running header
There should be the students last name
not the instructors last name followed by the page number and that goes to the top right and
The title there is no title here
But one should be included and treat the title as a preview of what you are writing about
See how all lines are consistently double-spaced
No more and no less
the Margins both top and bottom are one inch
most page formats are
Automatically set to have side Margins at one and a quarter inches
So you may have to select the layout tab at the top right of your document
processor's toolbar to adjust the margins. As a final point note the use of
parenthetical citations.
Be sure
To place the page number in parentheses after the quote and followed by an appropriate punctuation mark
whether a period or a question mark
After you've read the sample you can see that just about every element of the paragraph structure that I require is present
Take a look at the outline I've created I
plugged in sentences from the Model into the outline to demonstrate how this paper has all the elements a
Couple of elements were missing the transition
expression from Support Sandwich number one to support sandwich number two and the context for support sandwich number two a
Little bit of context about this mini essay. It was written by a student in one of my literature classes
I prepared the students in that literature class with an essay on how to analyze race in literature
Which that student applied very well here.
You're not expected to analyze the struggles of racial identity in ask the dust though
You are more than welcome to and there's plenty to be said about it of course if you have taken other courses that have provided
Intellectual frameworks that you think could apply to your analysis of this novels main character Arturo Bandini
You are encouraged to use them any
Number of frameworks such as gender sexuality class ethnicity
Philosophy could be used indeed you could even use a
psychological framework supplied by the class reading on assertiveness passiveness and aggressiveness in
Fact I strongly recommend that you consider how Arturo exhibits any of those behavioral patterns.
Frameworks such as these are really helpful for creating complex precise and significant analysis.
Analysis is all about explaining how something is significant.
Semiotics, or sign analysis that we talked about earlier in this module, gives you a method for that explanation by looking at how
context, the surrounding details, are related to the sign being analyzed.
Look at how the writer interpreted different signs here
First note that the writer provides details in the context that are useful to the analysis
Thomas is a culturally inclined
native American
Or someone who believes in the value of knowing his native American identity
That information is mentioned right here
Moreover we also get the detail that he expresses this value for his native American identity through the stories he tells
Here in the context the student writer has already interpreted a detail by association
Thomas's stories signify how much he values his ethnicity.
This sets up the detail
that's quoted the analogy between thomas telling stories to his fellow native Americans on the reservation and
a dentist
in
a town with people who have false teeth.
The native Americans he talks to have no use for his stories because they are like the townspeople with false teeth
If stories are a sign of valuing one's ethnic culture and the native Americans on the reservation don't value
Thomas's stories then these native Americans don't value their own culture. Their
rejection of their own culturally infused stories is a manifestation of internalized racism
because the rejection of their culture comes from within,
which is what internal means from the inside.
You can see that the student writer provided a support sandwich that directly connects back to the topic sentence claim
and
There is your topic sentence
furthermore both support sandwiches back up the topic sentence claim
But both provides slightly different interpretations that present a really clever and complex argument
Examining how internalized racism appears in the stories being discussed
both support sandwiches provide examples of internalized racism
However each One provides a different kind of internalized racism
Whereas the first support Sandwich demonstrates internalized racism in
the form of not accepting or having use for stories that continue to pass on native American Culture, the
second support sandwich shows how internalized racism can
be expressed aggressively
by one native-American attacking another
And the second support sandwich begins about here at this point in "Every Little Hurricane"
And it continues
In the attack one negates the authenticity of the others native American identity
by associating that one with being white.
The student writer doesn't elaborate on how whiteness is particularly offensive
because it's associated with the identity of those that colonized native American lands and oppressed them as a people.
This may have been a strategic choice that the student made because the paragraph was already reaching the maximum length and
assumed the reader either his fellow classmates or instructor was aware of this information.
In any case the analysis provided here is very strong and well-developed
With regards to language note how the student uses specific names and places.
Details are provided to help the reader understand. Also observe how cursing that was included in the second quote
There it is. This is perfectly appropriate because the student included it within a quote that was analyzed.
Using that kind of language
outside of a quote or using it in a quote, but not analyzing the quote is
inappropriate.
Overall this model sets a high standard that I hope you all aspire to.
Clearly the student who submitted this writing assignment
understood the skills needed to write a paragraph and applied them
well. Of course, it's not perfect (no transition is provided and some things were assumed and left unexplained).
But it's a very good model to follow.
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